Tips For Successfully Dating A Single Parent

Photo Credit: CNN.com

Photo Credit: CNN.com

When people start dating and having romantic relationships in their late teens and early twenties, few are concerned with the possibility of dating a single parent. But as these same daters progress into their twenties and thirties the begin to discover that, a significant portion of their dating pool have children by their previous partners. In fact a recent CNN story suggests that there are nearly 12 million single mothers living in the US alone, assuming there is an equal number of single fathers that is nearly 10% of the adult population!

Clearly if you stay single long enough then chances are good that you will come across a potential partner who is also a parent. This being the case, it makes sense to familiarize yourself with the struggles single parents face so that you can be a empathetic and caring partner. It also makes sense, in the short-term to learn some tips for casually dating a single parent. It is an interesting dynamic and it brings up some challenges, and unfortunately not everyone is able to handle it.

Tip #1 – Assess Your Ability To Be A Good Partner For A Single Parent. For whatever reason, some people don’t have the flexibility, patience, tolerance and other personal characteristics that a single parent needs in a romantic partner. It is important that you understand this before starting a relationship. If you don’t think you can handle it, you should let the person you are dating know as soon as you can to avoid causing them a lot of heartache later on.

Tip #2 – Accept The Fact That You Will Need To Be Flexible About Spending Time Together. The first thing you should know is that a single mom or dad won’t have as much time to go on dates and just hang out as people without children do. In most cases, a single parent will feel that their children should come first, and you need to respect that. You will have to plan dates around their schedule and it might be difficult to get used to.

Tip #3 – You Need To Be Flexible About Spending Time With Their Kids. A lot of single parents will not want you to meet their children for a long time. This obviously depends on the child and the personality of the person you date. Many people worry that meeting too many boyfriends or girlfriends would be hard on their kids, and set a bad example, and frankly I agree with them. Others want the people they date to be a part of their kid’s lives right away (IMHO a big mistake), but it just depends on how they feel about things.

You need to be flexible and roll with the punches. These are the kinds of things that you will surely discuss with somebody you see as a potential candidate for a long term relationship before things get too serious. Don’t assume she or he will do one thing over another. You never know and you don’t want to go into the relationship assuming anything.

Tip #4 – Learn A Bit About Children And Parenting. Single parents have a great number of responsibilities that childless folks can’t even imagine. Take potty training for instance. If you don’t have kids then you likely have know idea what it is like to change 6 or so wet diapers a day (per kid) plus a couple of poopy ones too. Of course if you are dating someone with older children then this kind of thing may be ancient history in your partners mind, and the daily parenting duties may have eased up a bit. But if you are dating somebody with children under 5 years old then believe me they have really got their hands full! It’s not just changing dirty diapers either. Moms and dads of young kids are constantly responding to their children’s demands, getting them juice and snacks, potty training them, and keeping them safe and occupied with educational activities. It’s a lot of work. I’m not saying that you need to become a potty training expert, or learn to make the perfect PB&J sandwich to date a single parent, but having an idea of what they are going through will definitely be helpful.

Tip #5 – Realize It’s Going To Be Complicated, At Least For A While. As much as we may wish that this would be a simple process, you need to understand that if you’re going to take it to the next level, then it’s going to be complicated. Your partner will really need to think about their children when they are trying to decide if you are the right person to commit to. They might need a lot of time to decide and you shouldn’t rush them into making a decision about it.

It can be hard to get back out there after a divorce or a death of a partner. If you are going to be dating a single parent you need to be aware of this and understand what things might be like. Take it slow, ask questions and do your best to be respectful of their feelings. If you can do these things you have a better chance of making the relationship work.

References:

  1. http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/08/19/single.in.america/
  2. http://www.seanbluestone.com/start-potty-training-review-carol-clines-3-day-potty-training-method-good/
  3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLc004B44Ec

Why Self-Examination Is Important For Attracting Quality Women

There are a lot of guys out there who seem to have a lot going for them, but for whatever reason they still struggle with finding dates on a regular basis, let alone finding a partner for a long term relationship. For these men this matter of “how to attract women” is a question that continues to go unanswered. Yet, the truth is that the answer to this is not that hard to find, it’s just a matter of looking in the right place. It’s my assertion that the best place to look is inwards using thoughtful and careful self-examination.

Also try this: Bobby Rio’s “The Scrambler” technique for attracting that one hard-to-get girl

But what exactly IS self-examination?

What it means is looking at yourself, and trying to understand how you are perceived by members of the opposite sex. Really think about how they see you and what personal characteristics of yours may be turning women off.

For starters, personal hygiene is something that some people tend to take for granted. Women though take this seriously, and often find men who look and smell clean quite attractive. Given this, you should be sure to make it a point to take a bath daily and also use deodorants and a light spray of cologne or aftershave so that you smell sexy. You also need to be sure that you scrub your face well to remove oils that can cause you to get pimples or have a shiny, greasy complexion. Of course this takes a bit of time but its really not hard to do especially when you consider the pay off that you can get for keeping up on this stuff. Do yourself a favor and remember to always put a high value on your physical appearance. This isn’t a “conceited” thing at all, it’s merely a way to communicate to women that you value yourself and understand how attraction works for women.

Wearing clean and flattering clothes goes hand-in-hand with personal hygiene. Some men may want to splurge and invest in brand name attire, and this is perfectly fine as long as their budget can afford it, but even if you are short on funds it is still important that you get your hands on some decent threads. If you are really down and out you can even try to put together an outfit made from clothes that you find at a low priced thrift store. Luckily for you most women really don’t have an issue with this; the more important thing is that the clothes being worn are clean, well fitted, and presentable.

What else? Well, keeping fit is one other thing that men should consider when it comes to attracting women. After all, no woman wants to date a man who is a fat slob, or who is so weak and frail that he is incapable of defending her! This is why regular exercise is a must. Working out is, simply put, the most effective means of achieving a fit and attractive body. However, this does not necessarily mean enrolling in an intensive body-building program and trying to pump your muscles up to extreme levels. While some women do prefer beefy, muscle-bound men, the majority in fact prefer men who simply aren’t fat and who are conscious about their health.

In addition to the three things I mentioned (hygiene, clothes and fitness) it is also important to really examine how you behave around women and how you relate to them when you are on a date. It doesn’t matter how nice you look if you have an unattractive personality that scares women off. This is why it is so important to do some soul-searching and learn to look at yourself and your behavior objectively. Hopefully this will lead you to make some necessary improvements so that you can start attracting the sorts of quality women you’d like to have in your life!